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only one day
only one occasion
and what i've seen was loniless
and what shook me
that didn't leave my mind
i couldn't hold myself
and even when i met her again
the result was that tragedy
what happened
in reality, i was paralyzed inside darkness
i was angry, afraid
i didn't want to get close to you
ever since i was little
i've always only thought of myself..
just alive, trying to justify myself
and speak whatever is in my mind
and i've always let behind your side of the story
how could i?
i thought i had learn this lesson before
there are times in which we can say goodbye to those that matter to us
without having the chance to ask for forgiveness for the mistakes we've made
i've seen this story before
when we make the same mistakes
this is no different than never having learnt the lesson
however,
what have touched me the most at that moment,
more than the meaning of your words
was the look on your face,
the sparks in your eyes..
everything whispered to me
pain
sadness
desolation
those whispers were much more painful..
much more urgent..
that pain of being abandoned
the loneless of being left behind
ah.. at least i'm seeing how it is
how could i not have notice this before?
i felt angry at myself..
of my ignorance..
ever since the beginning
truthfully, what's the difference..?
between being put in a higher level than everybody else and being abandoned?
what's the worst, really?
is just too cruel
that changes are just a part of being alive
a world full of people i don't know..
a world of loneless
don't cry!
just as happiness and joy have an end
every fear and suffering will end as well.
even if it's hard to believe,
please don't give up
continue to being alive
don't give ''keep on waling'' up.
please,
this is the only think i ask you
even if I
even if I can't stay by your side
can you hear me?
are you hearing? e
very single word of mine?
are they reaching you?
are my words reaching you?
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Ok. In case you wonder what the heck was that? these were fragments of the th
ought in Fruits Basked volume 21. When I read a couple of weeks ago I thought it would be a nice thing to post here today.. You may say that this little text was very confusing and kinda of depressing, but so is this day. Today, on Mother's day Eve, it has been a year since I friend of mine died. She was 15. And yeah, I wished I was kidding. I don't like to think about this, because in my mind she'll show up at school late for first class tomorrow, or tomorrow, or tomorrow.. But denying that this has happened is also wrong.. now please, tell me: is it bad and wrong being mad at her for what she did?
1 comments:
Thanks for writing this.
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