Damn this freaking blogger.. Later I'll write again the little history of this post..
Anyway:
Futari wo saku you ni
Denwa ga kireta
bye bye!
Wednesday, 23 May 2007
Saturday, 12 May 2007
Goodbye my friend... Don't say goodbye
ps (as in pre scriptum) I recommend one starting to read this while listening to the newest update in my box
------------------------------------------------
only one day
only one occasion
and what i've seen was loniless
and what shook me
that didn't leave my mind
i couldn't hold myself
and even when i met her again
the result was that tragedy
what happened
in reality, i was paralyzed inside darkness
i was angry, afraid
i didn't want to get close to you
ever since i was little
i've always only thought of myself..
just alive, trying to justify myself
and speak whatever is in my mind
and i've always let behind your side of the story
how could i?
i thought i had learn this lesson before
there are times in which we can say goodbye to those that matter to us
without having the chance to ask for forgiveness for the mistakes we've made
i've seen this story before
when we make the same mistakes
this is no different than never having learnt the lesson
however,
what have touched me the most at that moment,
more than the meaning of your words
was the look on your face,
the sparks in your eyes..
everything whispered to me
pain
sadness
desolation
those whispers were much more painful..
much more urgent..
that pain of being abandoned
the loneless of being left behind
ah.. at least i'm seeing how it is
how could i not have notice this before?
i felt angry at myself..
of my ignorance..
ever since the beginning
truthfully, what's the difference..?
between being put in a higher level than everybody else and being abandoned?
what's the worst, really?
is just too cruel
that changes are just a part of being alive
a world full of people i don't know..
a world of loneless
don't cry!
just as happiness and joy have an end
every fear and suffering will end as well.
even if it's hard to believe,
please don't give up
continue to being alive
don't give ''keep on waling'' up.
please,
this is the only think i ask you
even if I
even if I can't stay by your side
can you hear me?
are you hearing? e
very single word of mine?
are they reaching you?
are my words reaching you?
------------------------------------------------
Ok. In case you wonder what the heck was that? these were fragments of the th
ought in Fruits Basked volume 21. When I read a couple of weeks ago I thought it would be a nice thing to post here today.. You may say that this little text was very confusing and kinda of depressing, but so is this day. Today, on Mother's day Eve, it has been a year since I friend of mine died. She was 15. And yeah, I wished I was kidding. I don't like to think about this, because in my mind she'll show up at school late for first class tomorrow, or tomorrow, or tomorrow.. But denying that this has happened is also wrong.. now please, tell me: is it bad and wrong being mad at her for what she did?
------------------------------------------------
only one day
only one occasion
and what i've seen was loniless
and what shook me
that didn't leave my mind
i couldn't hold myself
and even when i met her again
the result was that tragedy
what happened
in reality, i was paralyzed inside darkness
i was angry, afraid
i didn't want to get close to you
ever since i was little
i've always only thought of myself..
just alive, trying to justify myself
and speak whatever is in my mind
and i've always let behind your side of the story
how could i?
i thought i had learn this lesson before
there are times in which we can say goodbye to those that matter to us
without having the chance to ask for forgiveness for the mistakes we've made
i've seen this story before
when we make the same mistakes
this is no different than never having learnt the lesson
however,
what have touched me the most at that moment,
more than the meaning of your words
was the look on your face,
the sparks in your eyes..
everything whispered to me
pain
sadness
desolation
those whispers were much more painful..
much more urgent..
that pain of being abandoned
the loneless of being left behind
ah.. at least i'm seeing how it is
how could i not have notice this before?
i felt angry at myself..
of my ignorance..
ever since the beginning
truthfully, what's the difference..?
between being put in a higher level than everybody else and being abandoned?
what's the worst, really?
is just too cruel
that changes are just a part of being alive
a world full of people i don't know..
a world of loneless
don't cry!
just as happiness and joy have an end
every fear and suffering will end as well.
even if it's hard to believe,
please don't give up
continue to being alive
don't give ''keep on waling'' up.
please,
this is the only think i ask you
even if I
even if I can't stay by your side
can you hear me?
are you hearing? e
very single word of mine?
are they reaching you?
are my words reaching you?
------------------------------------------------
Ok. In case you wonder what the heck was that? these were fragments of the th
ought in Fruits Basked volume 21. When I read a couple of weeks ago I thought it would be a nice thing to post here today.. You may say that this little text was very confusing and kinda of depressing, but so is this day. Today, on Mother's day Eve, it has been a year since I friend of mine died. She was 15. And yeah, I wished I was kidding. I don't like to think about this, because in my mind she'll show up at school late for first class tomorrow, or tomorrow, or tomorrow.. But denying that this has happened is also wrong.. now please, tell me: is it bad and wrong being mad at her for what she did?
Wednesday, 9 May 2007
It's hard to walk in the night
It's almost embarrassing how long it has been since I last posted. I know it's an excuse but this week I'm having exams at school, which, by the way, I have totally screwed up. Seriously, I did so fucking bad it's too disgraceful to say anything else.. Thank god tomorrow is the last day, and my favorite, though the hardest part: my essay-like exams on Geography and History.. Right now I really wished I hadn't choose Internal Relations as my major for the exams, but instead something that didn't have any exams tomorrow.. And last week it was a long holiday (April was packed with holidays... Thin I'll miss them very much) and so.. If you said that I went for a trip you are correct! Beach again...
But, for a change, something worth telling happened..
I was watching Children of Men. I mean, it was a well-made good film and all, but I think they didn't answer two of the most important questions in the story: first, why the hell did women stop having babies? Think they should have come up with any sloppy reason, to say the less; second, we all know that Europe (and a hell lot of other countries, for that matter) can be a little xenophobic because of the huge amount of immigrants (I know folks form São Paulo, the state I was born, can be real mean with northeast people that migrates to the city), but I could just
wonder why the hell the British government started arresting them all of a sudden. It was just me not paying enough attention to the movie or them really didn't give any f*cking explanation?
And just after I had finished watching the film, something real funny happened. I went to the room I share with my brother at our apartment (please remember I was at the beach, thank God I don't have to share a room with him back here at home). Kay, I went there and made some noise and my 'lil bro woke up. He got out of bed, went to the living room and sat on the coach. I asked him what he was doing there and he looked at me and said I'm going to sleep. Then I went ''But here?? Let's go the room" (notice that at this point I was already trying real hard in order not to laugh at his face - I'm such a good sister..) and he goes No, I'm going to wait for Carol - that's me. Kay, at this point I was laughing, but just a bit. Then my brother lied on the sofa, switching channels on the TV and I sat on the other coach. Waited a little ans saw that really awkward phase of getting to sleep, when you keep closing and opening his eyes. Then I said "Felipe, let's go to sleep?", and thank god he just replied Ah~ okay and went to bed. When I say my bro is a bit of a night walker nobody ever believes me (especially him..)
I think that's it for today.. And sorry, I don't have anything to upload today in the Storage Room nor my box...
bye bye!
But, for a change, something worth telling happened..
I was watching Children of Men. I mean, it was a well-made good film and all, but I think they didn't answer two of the most important questions in the story: first, why the hell did women stop having babies? Think they should have come up with any sloppy reason, to say the less; second, we all know that Europe (and a hell lot of other countries, for that matter) can be a little xenophobic because of the huge amount of immigrants (I know folks form São Paulo, the state I was born, can be real mean with northeast people that migrates to the city), but I could just
wonder why the hell the British government started arresting them all of a sudden. It was just me not paying enough attention to the movie or them really didn't give any f*cking explanation?
And just after I had finished watching the film, something real funny happened. I went to the room I share with my brother at our apartment (please remember I was at the beach, thank God I don't have to share a room with him back here at home). Kay, I went there and made some noise and my 'lil bro woke up. He got out of bed, went to the living room and sat on the coach. I asked him what he was doing there and he looked at me and said I'm going to sleep. Then I went ''But here?? Let's go the room" (notice that at this point I was already trying real hard in order not to laugh at his face - I'm such a good sister..) and he goes No, I'm going to wait for Carol - that's me. Kay, at this point I was laughing, but just a bit. Then my brother lied on the sofa, switching channels on the TV and I sat on the other coach. Waited a little ans saw that really awkward phase of getting to sleep, when you keep closing and opening his eyes. Then I said "Felipe, let's go to sleep?", and thank god he just replied Ah~ okay and went to bed. When I say my bro is a bit of a night walker nobody ever believes me (especially him..)
I think that's it for today.. And sorry, I don't have anything to upload today in the Storage Room nor my box...
bye bye!
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